It’s when you know you shouldn’t feel a certain way,
but it’s like you have to.
And no matter how much you try to justify it,
you know you can’t deny what your heart feels.
And it hurts and you want to be mad, and confused, and not care.
Because we have to over analyze.
We crave the act of overthinking.
We look at everything we’ve ever wanted and say to ourselves,
“No, that’s not for me.”
We say it because we’re scared, because we’re sad, because we’re impatient, or we seem undeserving.
And we go about our lives like we never saw it in the first place.
I think that’s why so many people question their choices.
Why we end so many kisses with question marks or ellipses,
instead of periods or exclamation marks.
Humans make things very complicated for one another.
All I want is to touch your skin.
But I can’t.
And for that, I am very sorry.
We are bodies spilling together. We are hands grabbing, fingernails scratching, mouths kissing, teeth biting and hearts beating. We are explorers who don’t mind getting a little lost in each other. We are love.
What I want to talk about is how emotional outbursts typically more associated with men (shouting, expressing anger openly) are given a pass in public discourse in a way that emotional outbursts typically more associated with women (crying, “getting upset”) are stigmatized. I wish to dispel the notion that women are “more emotional.” I don’t think we are. I think that the emotions women stereotypically express are what men call “emotions,” and the emotions that men typically express are somehow considered by men to be something else. This is incorrect. Anger? EMOTION. Hate? EMOTION. Resorting to violence? EMOTIONAL OUTBURST. An irrational need to be correct when all the evidence is against you? Pretty sure that’s an emotion. Resorting to shouting really loudly when you don’t like the other person’s point of view? That’s called “being too emotional to engage in a rational discussion.” Not only do I think men are at least as emotional as women, I think that these stereotypically male emotions are more damaging to rational dialogue than are stereotypically female emotions. A hurt, crying person can still listen, think, and speak. A shouting, angry person? That person is crapping all over meaningful discourse.
In a study of children aged 2-5, parents interrupted their daughters more than their sons, and fathers were more likely to talk simultaneously with their children than mothers were. Jennifer Coates says: “It seems that fathers try to control conversation more than mothers… and both parents try to control conversation more with daughters than with sons. The implicit message to girls is that they are more interruptible and that their right to speak is less than that of boys.”
Girls and boys’ differing understanding of when to talk, when to be quiet, what is polite and so on, has a visible impact on the dynamics of the classroom. Just as men dominate the floor in business meetings, academic conferences and so on, so little boys dominate in the classroom - and little girls let them.